And so...
I spent 30mins tonite... Cleaning up my room.
Deep piece of shit. Looking at how those bags, files and dust accumulate everywhere.
Guess these days witnessing how Maeness cleared up my cubicle within minutes, gave me the inspiration to do something for myself too...
She's really good at it. Muacks...

Throwing unwanted old stuffs away really gave me a deep sense of satisfaction.
Esp seeing how much the room has transformed. With my hands...

What hv i been doing to myself for the past 2 months?
Time to adjust back.

And so...
I began by dragging my lazy & tired arse around school each day.
Living in total denial and extreme sadness.
Everything suddenly lost its meaning.
Work... Studies... Life...
Initially, i tried to be busy so i can refrain from checking my hp for new smses.

Then...
As i dragged my arse around school and started pretending busy for the first week...
I suddenly "turned" REALLY busy at the second week... Third week...
It suddenly feels GOOD to be busy bee.
It suddenly feels GOOD to be in control of my life & what i'm doing...
A queer feeling... But it feels good. So unlike the past 2 months.
Where i am busy too, yet emotionally drained.

Something still feels amiss somewhere.
Yes, i admit.
But the feeling really isn't as strong anymore.
The emptiness is felt,but not as empty as before.

i want to do something for myself again.
i want to fight for what i've lost. Time... My neglected work... Freedom.
And a peaceful mind.
The urge to do something for myself suddenly becomes the focus of my life.

And yesterday when i walked the long stretch of road home,
it dawned on me,
that the road ahead of me is still very very long...