You know...

As i sat here in the office @ 530pm, almost alone in this crazily huge place dat contains around 200+ working peeps.....

I wonder why am i still here for?

My life... Since the day i started working at 24, it has been revolving around junks after junks of emails... tidbits.... siam-ming nonsensical peeps in action... calls from parents... expectations of others... watching my back....

I wonder

Why am i going through the same routinal thing again & again?

If you know me...

i belong to the type who can eat niang dou fu constantly for one whole month before changing to another type of food. Right now, i've been eating the same chicken rice in school canteen for like 3+ months. Wahaha. I wonder when the craving will stop.

Or i can play the same sushi game over & over again for 3 full months or more without feeling tired.

Or i can go to the same place over and over again for a certain period of time before eventually changing places. Like... I've been meeting my frens consecutively @ cityhall for the past 1+ month. What happened to Clarke Quay? Orchard?

However, once i get tired of something,

i MAKE SURE it no longer occurs in my life. At least, for quite a long period of time.

I'll throw away that particular habit, i'll stop eating niang dou fu, i'll try not to go to that place for a long period of time,

i'll just stop doing it altogether.

And then, it will be another cycle of doing something else over & over again.

Funnie isn't it?

I don't understand why i'm behaving this way.

Right now,

I'm having this kind of feeling again.

I wonder is it the lack of a break? Or is it cos i see heavier responsibilities piling up?

But still, someone has to be doing the shitty job.

That's what i read in a book when i was mopping around MPH:

Do stuffs that other people refuse to do. So when u succeeded in doing it, the level of satisfaction is way beyond your expectations.

And I go for cheap satisfaction like this.

I wonder when the sucky feelin' for this job will kick in and i'll say bye bye without turning back again.

I wonder.

I need a holiday. i NEED a break.