i have always been afraid...

Afraid of giving empty promises i'm unable to fulfil.

Afraid of taking the 1st step to know some1 better.

Afraid of people who tell lies without a twitch.

Afraid of commitments. commitments. commitments.

Afraid of people who treat me toooooooo nice.

Afraid of the quiet silence between two people.

Afraid of the drifting apart.

Afraid of the fact that one day the person whom you thought you understood, turns out to be a complete stranger.

Afraid of getting hurt and destroyed by the one whom i thought loves me.

Afraid of giving my all and yet getting mocked at for being stupid.


.
.
.

And so,

i procrastinated.

i held back.

i valued my mamee's opinions more than my own.

i surveyed my friends and their opinions always seem to make so much more sense.

i waited.

i gave a little. i took a little. gave. took. waited. gave. took. waited.

i never initiated.

i always tell people to give me more time.

i always felt that i need to understand someone more before getting together.



in the end?


i wasted TOO MUCH time........

Which partly explains why i'm single..... Up till now.....

Which partly explains why i broke people's hearts and people broke mine too...


Until that night i had a talk with Mae in the hotel room....Just the 2 of us.....

[not fully quoted]

"U'll never know until you get together with that person.... If you never try.... You'll never know....."

Her words are like tight slaps across my face....

Forcing me to wake up.

Yes, throughout my 25yrs, i've thought too much and done too little.

I'm always thinking what's happiness, little knowing that happiness doesn't come with useless 'what ifs' and procrastination.

Isn't it?

I procrastinated way too much over tgs that shouldn't be dragged on for too long.

N all along, i thought i was right.



Wat if it doesn't work out? Wat if....?

Leave the 'what ifs' aside.

At least u know u've tried. U've done your best.

If it doesn't work out, then be glad u've not dragged on with the wrong one for way too long. And the right one might be just behind.


If you feel happy.

If you feel comfortable.

If you feel he might be The One.


Just go for it.

You only have 1 life to lead.

You're the one to be responsible for your happiness.

Not your parents. Not your friends. Not anyone else.

Trust your instincts. Trust your heart.

There'll always be obstacles. There'll always be more challenges ahead.

Thinking abt the POSSIBLE challenges ahead ain't gg to help anything.

Like how the old saying goes,

JUST DO IT.