Dear Diary…
These days, the clouds above look a little gloomy.
First, it was the boys in my class touching one another’s *ahem*… And it sort of ballooned to the stage where I have to ‘investigate’… The mother is seriously helpless and kept bombing Madam for an explanation… Then Madam bombed me to find a solution asap… As a girl, I really don’t know where to begin with…..
Secondly, another boy in class kept forgetting to hand in his work… His parents wanted him to excel in both table tennis & in his studies… It might work for some… But I doubt he can juggle both… They hence pushed the blame to us… Saying we don’t bother abt collecting his work on time… Tried explaining the situation to her many times… Failed…. I felt like a loser.
Thirdly, I always knew I’m not a good leader… And I don’t like to lead others…. I can be very happy as a follower… Sometimes, I really think the others don’t really respect me as much as they would to the other teachers… I might appear to be very free… Always enjoying myself... But how many knew how much stress n workload I have to handle when I’m in sch & at home?
Fourthly, I don’t want to drag my co-form down into this unstoppable mess… He’s kind enough to go thru this shit with me … Somehow, I felt really sorry that I couldn’t protect him… Though I REALLY very much wanted to… There’s just like only so much I can do … I’m lost….
I miss my last yr class…. I miss the interactn period where I can share with them about my childhood stories… My thoughts… What I have seen and they understand all that I did was for them…. Today while talking to mother over breakfast, I broke down and cried….
As the older colleagues who have always been with me, supporting me all these while, are harboring thoughts of resigning… retiring… leaving…
I began to feel that I should perhaps leave too….
Maybe it’s time I do something for myself…? I know this is totally selfish and undoing of me….
但我累了。。。
These days, the clouds above look a little gloomy.
First, it was the boys in my class touching one another’s *ahem*… And it sort of ballooned to the stage where I have to ‘investigate’… The mother is seriously helpless and kept bombing Madam for an explanation… Then Madam bombed me to find a solution asap… As a girl, I really don’t know where to begin with…..
Secondly, another boy in class kept forgetting to hand in his work… His parents wanted him to excel in both table tennis & in his studies… It might work for some… But I doubt he can juggle both… They hence pushed the blame to us… Saying we don’t bother abt collecting his work on time… Tried explaining the situation to her many times… Failed…. I felt like a loser.
Thirdly, I always knew I’m not a good leader… And I don’t like to lead others…. I can be very happy as a follower… Sometimes, I really think the others don’t really respect me as much as they would to the other teachers… I might appear to be very free… Always enjoying myself... But how many knew how much stress n workload I have to handle when I’m in sch & at home?
Fourthly, I don’t want to drag my co-form down into this unstoppable mess… He’s kind enough to go thru this shit with me … Somehow, I felt really sorry that I couldn’t protect him… Though I REALLY very much wanted to… There’s just like only so much I can do … I’m lost….
I miss my last yr class…. I miss the interactn period where I can share with them about my childhood stories… My thoughts… What I have seen and they understand all that I did was for them…. Today while talking to mother over breakfast, I broke down and cried….
As the older colleagues who have always been with me, supporting me all these while, are harboring thoughts of resigning… retiring… leaving…
I began to feel that I should perhaps leave too….
Maybe it’s time I do something for myself…? I know this is totally selfish and undoing of me….
但我累了。。。
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