- 不悔 -

When i started off my career, it wasn't exactly smooth sailing. I've been through the worst case (so chum that it was brought up during the staff meetingS for weeks in a row! =X)

I've seriously underwent lots of sais, lots of ups and downs, lots of setbacks, lots of complaints, lots of backstabs.

But yes. I do get lots of support, lots of love, lots of concern and lots of motivation & encouragement from my colleagues. People whom i respect dearly. People who EARNED other people's respect.

Colleagues? Nah. I see them as my friends. More than friends actually. Some actually became my confidants. I enjoyed the short little chats in between classes. Enjoyed the small little gestures they shown to me (like buying breakfast for me, buying liang cha for me when they noe i'm sick, reassuring me that i can do it...etc)

I don't know if i'm doing a great job as a leader, but i understand how the newbies are going through. And that's why i'm doing whatever my seniors have shown to me. All those little gestures that can mean alot. I know it's isn't easy for them to survive in this harsh environment where every1 is forced to grow up.

All the shit and so little words of encouragement. So many sai gangs and yet so little acknowledgement. Sometimes, we don't need dramatic praises. All we need is some recognition of what we've contributed or maybe a wide grin that tells us 'Yes! U can do it!'

But most of the time, u'll realise that recognition doesn't only come frm colleagues alone, but from the kids as well. They are the peeps whom we spent most of our time with in sch. They are the ones who truly trust us and very badly wanted our attention.

All sorts of family backgrounds: Busy parents... Divorcing parents...

And sometimes, a little gesture from them might seem silly to us. But it may mean alot alot to them. As compared to adults who don't show their true emotions, they are more straightforward in showing their appreciation for u.

Like a pupil suddenly passed me a little (really little) bottle of pineapple tarts today that reads 'Sambal what-ever' outside. It made me goes... ah? then aww..

Who knows? Maybe she secretly stole some tarts frm her house n gave them to me...hiak hiak...

Like a boy suddenly coming up to me today when lesson ended..Secretly handing me a handmade froggie. Softly telling me "lin lao shi... heeheeee i like u heeheehee"

Like i was giving them a spelling test today and a boy (whose chinese sux like hell) wrote the characters correctly and with a proud smile, he says, "Lin lao shi, wo jin bu le.. dui bu dui?" (lin lao shi, i've improved right?)

These are the smiles that i carried away with me everytime lessons ended.

And these are the people i look forward to seeing in my everyday work.

I'm not only a lao shi. I see myself as someone beyond that. I don't care if i can help all 30. But a child saved is a child's life changed.

And when i know there are so many kind souls @ work that can make me smile from my heart,

I know i didn't make a wrong choice afterall. =)